Homesick

When we were traveling after our homeleave in the States for our move from Berlin to Warsaw, we had to fly through Frankfurt, Germany. I distinctly remember the wave of sadness I felt as we walked through the airport to our gate. It took me a bit of time, but I finally realized why I was so upset: we were leaving home twice in one day. I was already feeling blue leaving our family and friends in the States, but then I had to leave Germany... again. It was double the grief.

One of the best and worst things about foreign service life is you get to call many places "home," but then you have to leave them. And then you miss them. A lot. While there are quite a few things that frustrate you about each place you live, the positives generally outweigh the negatives, and those are the things you remember the most. Those are the things you long for.

It sometimes hits me when I'm not expecting it. I follow a lot of travelers' accounts on Instagram. I'm happily bombarded with pictures of far-away places, and every now and then a picture pops up of a place I have been before and it always brings a smile to my face. Just yesterday, however, I was scrolling along when a picture of the Polish countryside came up. A vivid picture of a dark gray cloudy sky contrasting against the bright yellow flowers and beautiful green grass of the canola fields. I almost started to cry. I will often see pictures of Berlin (I actually follow several Berlin-specific accounts) and other places in Germany as those are more popular destinations for travelers. But it's not every day that a picture of Poland comes up, especially not of the countryside you would only see as you drove across the country. Memories came flooding back and that familiar wave of sadness reappeared. I tried to tell myself to just be happy that I was able to experience that area of the world, but the nagging sense of "I might never see it again" overpowered me. It eventually passed and life continued on, but I've had enough of those moments to know they will happen again.

So, not only do I have flashes of homesickness for the States, but also for Germany and Poland (and I'm sure I will for Thailand as well). Sure, I miss the big things like the sights, the history, and the major trips, but it's really the little things that stick out and cause these feelings the most. Like the view of the countryside while driving from one city to another. Or the walks to the grocery store, farmer's market, or bakery with baby in tow. Or the pauses at the bakery in the grocery store so you can buy some quarkbällchen. Or the obliviousness felt when doing anything in public because you cannot understand a word anyone is saying. It's the day to day life that makes a place a home, and the uniqueness of each place that makes that life special.

I will close out this stream of consciousness by saying my intention is not to be negative about this at all! Homesickness just means we have built meaningful memories somewhere we call home... how can that be bad?

Changed

I have read several articles about what people have learned after living overseas, so I thought I would make a personal list! My perspectives, my opinions, my comfort zone, and the way I do things have all been impacted by our life outside of the United States. I realize that several of the following can be learned in the States, but they are things I learned about myself and the world over the last nine years as an expat.

1. The friends you make mean all the difference in the world. This applies to life in general, but I realized, overseas especially, that the people I welcomed into my life affected all aspects of HOW I lived overseas. Was I going to stay at home or take my kids out into the city/world? I am so grateful for the friends I made who showed me that kids are to be taken out and not used as an excuse to stay in and not travel or explore. And these are people who were placed into my life... my sponsors and my neighbors specifically. If we had been put in a house other than the one we were put in, in each of our three posts, my life could have ended up much differently. God is good.

2. I am a lot more open to living in various places. This has to be looked at from the perspective of where I was 10 years ago. I didn't have the desire to live anywhere outside of the United States. When Brent first told me we were moving to Berlin, I was extremely hesitant. Who wanted to live in that dark, depressing, war torn place with Nazis and the Berlin Wall? Of course, now I can say that was one of the best places ever to live! As we have moved further and further east, I have experienced a variety of cultures and while I definitely have my preferences, I know I can survive almost anywhere. Whether I want to survive there is something separate, but I know I can.

3. I crave exploring and moving. This is something that I'm not sure would have been so exemplified had we not moved every three years over the past nine years. I grew up in the military, so we moved around quite a bit, and I'm positive that experience had made me more comfortable with this foreign service life. But I do not remember having the desire to SEE and DO as much when living in the States. In fact, near the end of our honeymoon in Italy, which was only 10 days long, I was ready to come home! You can imagine how Brent, who wanted to live overseas, felt when hearing that. But we made the leap to leave the States (for much longer than 10 days) and in turn I have grown to appreciate the opportunity to travel. So much so, when several months go by without going somewhere, I get extremely antsy. I am looking forward to exploring our home nation with the kids!

4. I can make things from scratch. Before living overseas, I was very much of an "easy" cook. Whatever was pre-packaged and easy to make was how I cooked. After moving to Europe, I discovered that there were several things I had to do for myself because that "ease" was not available anymore. Again, this is something I could have discovered about myself without living overseas, but dealing with foreign grocery stores forced me to do this whether I wanted to or not. Who would have thunk I could make crescent rolls and pop-tarts from scratch? And, on a related but not related note, who would have thought that I would have to explain what "from scratch" means (which I had to do for my German language teacher)? ;)

5. The United States does not have a monopoly on jerk personalities. All I heard before living overseas was that Americans were obnoxious and foreign countries hated us. While traveling, I have definitely encountered some Americans who are disrespectful and ignorant, but living in foreign countries has given me a broad experience of many different people from many different countries and believe me, Americans are not the only ones who can be rude. There's a difference in culture that can attribute to this, which is something you just have to get used to (like the fact that most Thai drivers do not seem to know how to go through traffic circles), but personality types are abundant and you will find the kindest people in the world from each and every country as well as the most annoying people in the world from each and every country. So, I get a little frustrated when people bash Americans in general without any regard for individual characteristics. Conversely, I no longer allow preconceived notions affect how I look at other countries either. When we traveled to France, we did not encounter the rudeness I expected from the locals. I'm not saying nobody has, I'm just saying that we shouldn't make rash generalities about a country and its citizens. We should just travel and appreciate the differences and deal with each situation as it comes with patience and understanding. If you want to enjoy someplace, you will enjoy it more with an open outlook than a biased view.

6. I am a lot less of a food snob. My comfort zone in terms of where and what I eat has been expanded, especially with the establishments we have frequented here in Asia. And I have actually purchased raw cut-up chicken from a pile on top of a table.

7. I hope to never complain about customer service again. When it comes to customer service, we have it so good in the States. My favorite "service" story took place in Warsaw... I wanted to buy some chicken at the grocery store, but it didn't scan so the cashier lady just set it aside without a word and then rolled her eyes at me when I asked for a price check. And that happened more than once. If the service still starts to annoy you, just imagine you don't speak the same language as the person providing the service to you. Speaking of, I will also have more sympathy for the Spanish speaking workers in the States. I have lived in countries where English is not the first language spoken and I have tried to speak English to try and get things done because I know no other way. I am also extremely thankful for the "For English, Press 2" option. I know how it feels on both sides. I agree that if you live in a country, you should attempt to learn the language of that country (which I did in Germany, but not Poland or Thailand). But I also know that it's not an easy thing to do, so I want to be a little understanding and hope that they are at least trying.

8. I need all four seasons. Every time I complain about the heat in Bangkok, Brent laughs at me because while we were suffering through the long winters of Warsaw, all I could do is complain about the cold. I couldn't wait to get to a place where I didn't have to deal with snowsuits and freezing temperatures. But after living in a city where the seasons are hot, hotter, and freakin' hot, I realize that change is good. I need to experience the winter in order to appreciate the summer and vice versa.

9. I will always be an advocate for travel! I understand there is an apprehension to travel sometimes, especially with children. But you will never hear me recommend to anyone not to go anywhere. Traveling as a family has given us such reward that I can only encourage others to do the same. Getting to and fro and dealing with details can be stressful, but the experience is completely worth it. I could not be happier that my children have such a rich history of travel in their young lives.

10. America is pretty awesome. This is something I've known my whole life, but now I have practical experience in other countries for comparison. There are some things other countries do better than we do and we are definitely not perfect, but all in all, America is a great package. I love living overseas, but in the end, America is where I'm proud to be from. America is home.

Thirty

We just got back from a great week in Japan! I feel the need to commemorate this occasion because Japan makes my total countries visited so far a nice even number... THIRTY. I know that's not a huge amount compared to a lot of my travel-loving counterparts, but I am pretty proud of what we have done while living overseas. Here is the rundown...

Pre-Expat
1. Spain - I was born and spent the first 9 months of life here. Don't remember a thing, but I must count it because it is the place of my birth and that's pretty important. ;)
2. USA - I have lived in Florida, California, Washington, Hawaii, Virginia, Arkansas, and Oklahoma. I have visited (that I remember) Maryland, Georgia, Texas, North Carolina, South Carolina, Alabama, Pennsylvania, New York, Connecticut, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, West Virginia, Ohio, Illinois, Tennessee, Missouri, Iowa, Kansas, Nebraska, Arizona, New Mexico, Oregon, and of course, DC.
3. Canada - A business trip took me to Toronto, where I discovered foreign countries don't have to be that different from America.
4. Italy - Our honeymoon was spent in Venice, Florence and Rome!
5. Vatican City - Also a part of our honeymoon... hard to avoid when you're in Rome.
6. Germany - We flew in and out of Munich for our honeymoon and were able to spend a couple of days seeing the city. Little did I know I would live in the country four years later and explore every inch of the place.

While we lived in Germany...
7. Austria - First visited Salzburg and Innsbruck and then had a great anniversary trip to Vienna.
8. United Kingdom - London, York, Bath and Winchester, England and Aberdeen and Peterhead, Scotland, to be exact.
9. Poland - Again, I visited before I lived there. This visit was solely to purchase Polish pottery in Bolesławiec, but while living there, we ventured out to many charming places.
10. Liechtenstein - We were in 4 countries in one day during one of our trips and this small country was one of them.
11. Switzerland - Also part of that 4 countries in one day trip. Then we were able to really explore it over several days just this past year, going to Bern, Geneva, Gruyères, Lucerne, and Zurich.
12. Netherlands - I had to see the tulips in spring, so after visiting Amsterdam, we went to the amazing gardens in Keukenhof.
13. Belgium - Combined with the Netherlands on one of the best road trips we had. Brugge is a must see.
14. Czech Republic - I was seven months pregnant when we visited the stunning Prague.

While we lived in Poland...
15. Ukraine - Up to this point, this was the poorest country I had ever visited. It was very eye-opening to see the former Soviet cities of Lutsk and Lviv.
16. France - A country I once vowed to avoid, we actually went into this country during one of our road trips in Germany (we ventured into a city called Bitche), and then spent 10 fabulous days in Paris, the Loire Valley, and Normandy over Christmas one year.
17. Slovakia - Part of the fantabulous 2-week road trip we took down Central Europe, we visited Bratislava...
18. Slovenia - Then we visited Ljubljana...
19. Croatia - Then we visited Zadar, Split, Dubrovnik, and Plitvice Lakes...
20. Hungary - And finished it off in Budapest.
21. Ireland - After a cruise to Greece and Turkey was dismissed due to work requirements, we "settled" for a week driving around this lovely country. We drove to Killarney, the Ring of Kerry, Bunratty, the Cliffs of Moher, near Dublin (never actually went into Dublin), Kilkenny, Blarney, and Cork.

While we lived in Thailand...
22. Thailand - We've explored a few of the major places and seen several amazing beaches in this tropical wonderland.
23. Cambodia - Definitely a country I never thought I would say I've been to, but Siem Reap was one of the best destinations ever.
24. Indonesia - Bali, anyone?
25. Australia - I finally made it to Sydney, a dream of mine since childhood. And we also swam in the Great Barrier Reef.
26. New Zealand - We drove all around the South Island, visiting Kaikoura, Christchurch, Franz Josef, Milford and Doubtful Sounds, and Queenstown. We also visited Auckland on the North Island. Absolutely, the most gorgeous place I have ever seen in my entire life. Bar none. Just don't let your kids climb trees there.
27. Maldives - An unforgettable trip with just my wonderful husband. It is perfection.
28. Malaysia - Well, we visited Legoland in this country. But that counts.
29. Singapore - The fun capital of the world. Clean, tons to do, and awesome.
30. Japan - So full of history and beauty. I could totally live there. We visited Kyoto, Hiroshima and Tokyo.

Some other country number tidbits:

• My daughter is 9 years old and has been to 25 countries: all the countries above except Spain, Canada, Italy, Vatican City, and Maldives.
• My son is 6 years old and has been to 21 countries: all the countries above except Spain, Canada, Italy, Vatican City, Netherlands, Belgium, Liechtenstein, Czech Republic, and Maldives. Although, I was pregnant with him when we visited Netherlands, Belgium, and Czech Republic, so technically he was there. ;) And really, he's only driven through Austria, but I'm counting it because we ate a meal there... and I was pregnant with him when Brent and I went to Vienna.

I am truly aware of how blessed we have been with the opportunities set before us. And so thankful!

Sixteen

While we lived in Berlin, Brent had a goal to visit all of Germany's 16 states before our three year post was over. We lived in one, as Berlin is one of three city-states (Bremen and Hamburg are the other two), so we only had 15 to go after arriving in August 2006. Most were pretty easy to check off because we had many castles to see and drove all over the country to see them. There is one state that only Brent can claim to have officially visited while I have only driven through (Brent has been to Hannover in Lower Saxony, but I have only driven through it to get to Bremen, a city-state surrounded by Lower Saxony). Since we drove all over the place, we only had to go out of the way to visit the small state of Saarland, which is tucked in a corner of the country, but it was still easy to accomplish on our two-week road trip through the Rhein region. It still took us our entire time at post to reach Brent's goal... we ended up visiting our last state, Bremen, just a few days before flying out in June 2009.

Here are a list of the 16 states and the towns within which we have visited. I also include some pictures of select places. I'm bummed because they may not be the best pictures and some of the towns are not represented by pictures... most of my really good shots include a couple of cute kids, and I'm trying to keep their faces off this blog. ;)

Baden-Württemberg - Stuttgart, Heidelberg, Karlsruhe, Sigmaringen, Baden-Baden, Freiburg, Schwarzwald, Triberg

Bavaria (Bayern) - München, Nürnburg, Regensburg, Würzburg, Bamberg, Dachau, Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Zugspitze, Füssen, Hohenschwangau, Oberammergau, Rothenburg ob der Tauber

Berlin

Brandenburg - Potsdam, Cottbus, Lehnin, Brandenburg an der Havel, Raddusch, Oranienburg

Bremen

Hamburg

Hesse (Hessen) - Wiesbaden, Rüdesheim, Frankfurt

Lower Saxony (Niedersachsen) - Hannover... This was a business trip for Brent, so I do not have any pictures!


Mecklenburg-Vorpommern - Schwerin, Rügen, Usedom, Ahlbeck, Heringsdorf

North Rhine-Westphalia (Nordrhein-Westfalen) - Köln

Rhineland-Palatinate (Rheinland-Pfalz) - Mainz, Trier, Worms, Kaiserslautern, Koblenz, Bacharach, Boppard, Cochem, St. Goar

Saarland - Saarbrücken

Saxony (Sachsen) - Dresden, Leipzig, Meißen, Seiffen, Bastei, Königstein, Moritzburg, Kriebstein

Saxony-Anhalt (Sachsen-Anhalt) - Magdeburg, Wittenberg, Bernburg, Falkenstein, Wenigerode, Wörlitz

Schleswig-Holstein - Lübeck

Thuringia (Thüringen) - Erfurt, Weimar, Eisenach